Growing up in Nigeria, I was taught to believe that it is a sign of weakness for a man to express his sad feelings. The society made us believe that we have to bottle up/hide those sad feelings, in order to be a man. It had its good and bad effects.
The good effect is that people will believe all is well with you and stay around.
People that hide their feelings and live like all is well can go through any trauma without anyone noticing. It’s easier to bear, because you bury those sad feelings deep down and disconnect from anything that triggers it.
But, just as a seed planted deep into the ground grows, those feelings grow into something that change your whole being negatively. Many people, especially introverts hide their feelings so well that one notices it. But there are still signs that tell when someone is hiding his or her feeling.
Here are the signs that someone is hiding their feelings.
1. They are constantly busy.
Stay busy to make sure something occupies your mind. This is one of the escape route for someone who is hiding their feeling. It’s relatively easier for them to stay busy, even if its exhausting, than to face their real challenge.
2. They’re always optimistic towards negative things in their life.
The best reaction to a negative turn out is a positive attitude, but not in most cases. It’s best you talk to someone who would help. Optimistic people recover from pains faster than pessimistic people. Optimism is not a realistic approach when it comes to real personal feelings.
3. They disconnect from those who matter.
Its a get away move from those who put them in that condition. Only those who are close to you can hurt you so bad, that’s a true irony of life. When people want to suppress their feelings, they disconnect from the people who cause to feel that way, most times, relatives.
4. Willing to solve other people’s problem but not theirs.
It’s easier to solve another’s problem when you do not have any psychological connection with the situation. As a mechanism to avoid digging up miserable feelings, people who hide their feelings choose to solve other’s problem rather than theirs.
5. They loose to Paranoia
Paranoia is an irrational feeling that people are out to hurt you. It’s accompanied with insecurity, distrust, social-detachment etc. This happens when bad feelings cloud one’s judgement and messes up their thoughts. Paranoia creates doubts and awkward level of suspicion in it’s victim.
6. They don’t like spontaneous events
People who hide their feelings always want to have control over the turn out of events. The fear of things going out of control make them plan out of every sing detail. This is understandable, because when things go south, it sets them into a panic state that makes them confront those dark emotions.