Ever been to the ATM in Nigeria ? Whether to withdraw the last 1k (one thousand naira) or to cash out 100k, you would notice this type of people on the queue. Sometimes you won’t meet any queue at the ATM but that’s very unlikely. I bet you, your experience at the ATM would be less fun if you don’t stand in a long queue.
The queue at the ATM is full of different characters and we made sure we didn’t miss any.
- 1 1. The ones that count their money after withdrawing.
- 2 2. The ones that want to withdraw everything.
- 3 3. The lazy ass.
- 4 4. The questionnaires.
- 5 5. The clueless.
- 6 6. The ITK (I-Too-Know).
- 7 7. The Good ones.
- 8 8. The noisemakers.
- 9 9. The ones that are always in a hurry.
- 10 10. The 1k gang.
- 11 11. The observers.
1. The ones that count their money after withdrawing.
These one have trust issues with the ATM, so they they want to take chances. Truth be told, there has never been a record where an ATM made a mistake in amount dispensed. But they must be sure, these category are usually older men.
2. The ones that want to withdraw everything.
I hate to be the queue with this type of person in front. It’s like an endless wait. They usually withdraw 20,000 at least, more than 3 times, you’ll fear lest they withdraw all the money. God bless you it’s weekend.
3. The lazy ass.
I don’t like queues either, but I don’t fall under this category. These ones do not stand in the queue, they like leaning on cars or the walls around, until they see someone wants to join the line then you hear “bros, na me dey dere”.
4. The questionnaires.
Don’t pray you ever meet these ones. When they get to the line, they first ask “who is the last person”, then they walk boldly to the front and ask “is the ATM paying”. Like that is not enough, they move to the next person and ask if the ATM pays in N500s. You think they are done until you hear them ask “can I do transfer with the ATM. They are holding the host bank’s card, so they walk to the security man, “Please is the POS working ?”. Five minutes in the line, they’ll ask you if you know the nearest ATM.
5. The clueless.
Yes, everyone came to the ATM, but not everyone know how to use the ATM. But why I choose to point these ones out is because of the level of ignorance, theirs is on another level. They be like “Do I slot it in, here ?”. No chew it.
6. The ITK (I-Too-Know).
I’ve got just one advice for you – avoid them. They are the ones that boss the line till it gets to their turn. They know the history of ATM machines. They are the ones that shout from behind, “hanty, Press cancel” ,“Bros, press ‘No'”, ” Oga enter your pin biko”, “Abeg, collect your money”.
7. The Good ones.
They queue up, withdraw and they are out. Yes they do exist too.
8. The noisemakers.
I so much hate these ones. You will be at the ATM queue, random person will just raise a topic “This Nigeria sef”. When no one reacts, they switch to president Buhari and how he has made the economy bad. They must have audience or else they are not leaving. Worst case scenario is during election period, APC versus PDP, every time.
9. The ones that are always in a hurry.
These ones come to the line rushing like its rush hour movie. First, the beg the person in front to help them withdraw 2k. If they’re unsuccessful with that trick, they start toasting the opposite sex in an earlier position. When you tend to hesitate on the ATM you hear them shouting up and down. These ones are full of excuses just to withdraw earlier.
10. The 1k gang.
Usually quiet and humble on the queue, they know how much they came for, so no much show.
11. The observers.
We fall in this category, we are good, just that we observe a lot.
Which one are you, we love to know.